My Arrival Home

Six years ago I left my childhood home in 

Dryden, NY to embark on my journey into adulthood—step one: college.

Four years ago I postponed my bachelors in Conservation Biology to embark on a 

journey across country to the Snoqualmie Valley, near Seattle, Washington. There I would take a 9-month course focused on wilderness survival and nature education.

Three years ago I quit college for good and moved back to Washington as a fulltime farmhand and became obsessed with sustainable agriculture and permaculture.

One year ago I left my farm job to become an apprentice at the Wilderness Awareness 

School Anake Leadership Program. There I would further my education as a nature mentor and grow in my understanding of the 8-shields model on which the school is built.

And then,

one week ago 

I left all my friends, 

colleges and mentors 

and landed back 

in my little hometown 

in Dryden, NY… 

for good.

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            My vision for my life moving forward is to create an educational, 8-shields, permaculture homestead here on the 5-acre plot where I grew up.

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            Woah... That’s a lot of mystery packed into one sentence—and believe me I want to spill it all! I want you to be intrigued and to ask a million questions and to play devil’s advocate and to support me and to cheer me on. But for now, I would like to share just a little bit from my first week back here on this beautiful piece of land.

People: Right now my Dad is my best friend. He is a retired engineer who is as wild and enthusiastic about projects as I am. In the week that I have been here we have worked on remodeling the bathroom, kitchen, office, barn, and cellar. We have weeded, planted, harvested, cooked and made each other laugh…a lot.

            I am feeling like a hermit already, not really wanting to hang out with anyone or go anywhere. I’m that friend who just got into a new relationship and now you never hear from them. I am so grateful for all the people in my life, I know you are thinking of me with love. And for the record, you will hear from me… eventually.

Earth Mother: She is my new lover. I wake up early and walk around the dew-soaked grass as the sun is just starting to warm the crisp night air. I sit under a gigantic maple tree or an old black cherry tree and I smile, or sometimes I cry—both with absolute overpowering joy and gratitude. I sit spot every morning and each evening I journal (using this same format). Thank you Universe for hearing my prayers and loving me as deeply as I love you.

Waters: So… my parents have both a pool and a Jacuzzi. I know, I know, I would be jealous too. On hot mornings I jump naked into the pool first thing and am instantly blissfully high on life and very alive. On cold mornings I soak in the warmth of the Jacuzzi and listen to the Cat Birds alarm as our cat Grady hunts birdseed-stealing chipmunks.

            Our land has a beautiful swamp, a natural spring that comes out of the hillside, and an artesian well that pulls up delicious mineral-rich water for us to drink and bathe in. My last name—Waterman—feels more appropriate than ever, as it has been so transformative for me throughout my life, but especially this last week. I am grateful for the water’s capacity to bring me to the present, to shift my consciousness, and to nourish me in more ways than I can count.

Trees: My bedroom is a tent underneath a grove of old apple trees. In the night I hear crabapples dropping from high branches, sometimes hitting my tent and bringing me out of my peeper-frog-lullabied slumber.

The forests in Washington are incredible, they forever have a place in my heart and I miss them. But, there is something wonderful about the hardwood forests of the Northeast: maples, locusts, ash, cherry, hophornbean, and the list goes on. I have begun masterlists for all the species I can identify on this property, trees, but also plants, birds, and animals. It’s comforting how many species I can identify still and exciting how many are new.

Plants: Kale, collards, chard, peas, black-capped raspberries, currents, lettuce, asparagus, mushrooms, nettle (the nettle is only just about to flower here!), sorrel, beet greens… the garden is really starting to produce, and I am really starting to cook. I have never felt so inspired to make food. I have never felt so in control of what I put into my body. I am cooking almost all lunches and dinners for my family, from stuffed mushrooms, to veggie scrambles, to anything and everything paleo. I am grateful for the abundance and availability of healthy food here.

Birds: I haven’t seen any predatory birds yet, which I am surprised by. The songbirds are crazy active though. We have a feeder right outside of our kitchen window that hosts nuthatches, chickadees, purple finches, sparrows, catbirds, feebies, robins, and my favorite—cardinals. The male cardinals are the most vibrant red color you ever did see in nature. I find myself excited for winter when they are back-dropped by bright white snow cover. I thank the birds for bringing me joy and lightheartedness with their songs, and I set intentions to see some aerial predators!

Animals: Besides our two Boston Terriers who snore, fart, bark, and are generally gross, I haven’t seen a lot of mammal activity yet. There are a lot of deer trails, especially in our back woods, but I’ve only seen one large doe so far. She was back in our South field one morning at first light when I went out to pick wild strawberries for breakfast. I’ve seen a rabbit and squirrels and chipmunks, but I know that there are tons of foxes, weasels, coyotes and even black bear.

            You know my favorite animal sighting? The first night I was walking back to my tent and saw this blinking light out in the middle of one of our fields. Honestly my first thought was “A flashlight?” Haha, you guessed it, fireflies. Thousands of fireflies every night that dot the yard and the trees and fields—a moving starry night right at my fingertips.

Weather and Sky: It was hot and delicious for the first few days, so I worked outside a lot… I mean a lot. Eventually I had to stop because the absurd amount of weeding I was doing rendered my hands out of commission for a while. The second half of this week the rain and thunder hit us from Chicago. Yes, thunder storms. I know New York can do better than that for those of you who have lived out here for a while, but to a thunder-starved-Washingtonight, it was perfect.

Body: I’ve been off antibiotics for Lyme disease for over a month now and I feel EXTRAORDINARY. I think perhaps I have undergone some freak transformation because I’m pretty sure I’m some kind of superhero now. I wake up no later than 6am every morning and go to bed after 11pm most nights. I have so much energy and capacity to create. I’ve been stretching and doing animal forms everyday, though perhaps this work is finally starting to catch up with me, because I am soreeeee—I mean fantastically so.

Inner Tracking: Oh boy people, if you couldn’t already tell, I’m fucking happy. Excuse the language but nothing else fits. I am fucking happy. I am my own partner, my own love. I could say so much. I’m learning so much about myself everyday, but for now I’ll leave it at that.

Thank you for being a part of my journey.

Much love,

Estelle